The War Within

I feel torn in different directions 

My heart feels ripped into strands
Just as the wounds began to heal,
My soul and life amending the faults
And pretend like one happy union
The acid in my life
Melts those those scars

Are the cries of help and distress I hear
Not from the battle I fight with Life,
But from the quiet, muffled struggle within myself?
Sometimes, those scars melt ,
And escape my eyelids in frustration.
How long can I put up this grand act?
That I am whole, complete, and unscathed
While I struggle to keep my broken shards together?

How long can I soothe these cracks in my soul,
With balm, that when Life rains on,
Melts and runs like my tears
I feel my body and soul fighting each other,
Something that hasn't ever seen peace
And now the clashes are something I cannot explain.

Where do I belong?
In my safe, little cocoon
Where only I exist?
No, that suffocates me.
In the world of family and people?
No, it confuses me.
Is this battle ever going to quieten?

Where do I belong? 
Maybe in the stars,
Where I, can be myself.

 

#lockdowndiaries #whenthingsgettoomuch #meltdownmusings