On Turning Fourteen : A New Milestone

Hello readers, this is Maanasa here. I have a milestone to share with you - I just turned fourteen!

Turning fourteen has been a confusing yet awakening experience. Speaking of confused, I have been pondering over how this milestone will be introducing me to an upgrade in difficulty and the urge that I need to push myself harder. If there's one word that could summarise my present state, it would be confusion.

I am confused now more than ever, of what the future holds ahead.

You could compare this with an eclosing butterfly, a painful yet meaningful transition of my true self. This year has been all about learning, unlearning and relearning what I have known all my life.

I am in the thick of identity crisis and I'm still figuring out who I am, as I observe my younger self slowly chipping away and evolving into a more mature, future self. The beliefs and ideals I had depended on slowly began crumbling, with new experiences and new thoughts. Often, I am not sure what to believe and I am starting to question things that I used to do without second thought.

This year, I learnt to cherish being alone and valued time for myself. For the first time, my inner voice is beginning to recognize and appreciate all the efforts I have taken for myself throughout the year. I am very proud of everything I have done for myself and for others in my life and I am grateful for my growth as an individual. My values are widening and this new territory I am exploring has given me several moments of doubt, pride, joy and fright.

This year, something struck me - why aren't mothers celebrated too? I believe it is an equally prolific milestone for the mother as well - a life-changing experience. I'd want you to think about this.

Although this journey of getting to know my changing, fluid self has been mildly frightening for a person who likes facts and certainty, I have learnt to trust it, to trust change and time, that the future has something greater in store for me and that it is my job to enjoy it to the fullest.

I like who I'm becoming.

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