fledgling

This year crashed on me like colourful confetti, like a breath of fresh air I was exhausted, yet happy and satisfied But the sheen slowly wore off, and the designs Of fate made themselves known. This year found new ways to break my heart. I was battered by the whirlwind of pain, Grief, that this year happily presented to me. I mourned the loss of a loved one; of a relationship I had Long outgrown; and if that wasn’t enough, My body and soul were tired of fighting viruses, toxic people, uncomfortable glances This year also saw me rise up against every Wave. Every injustice. I gathered meaning in courage, to stand up for  Myself, and every hurt soul. I fought against In a cacophonous world as this, I was Trying to make an identity for myself Figure out who I was, who I wanted to be. I tried to find where I fit in this magnificent puzzle, Or rather not fit. Inspired by Twenty Nineteen by Lang Leav

The snow of the mountains, still Bear the scarlet stains of your final act, The crisp, solemn winter air of Pinglan, still Stands a witness to the last moments of greatness. Even on your human case crumbling, The brilliance of your sacrifice Shone through the valiant bullet wounds. No matter the ages that trudge through, The rousing drum of your strength, Bravery amid paralysing pain, Strength amid the chaos, The sincerity of your offering, Like that of the great Kunwar Singh, Will echo in my heart for a lifetime. Your willing welcome of the last second, Pushes me to transcend the trivialities of life, And readily sacrifice what man holds on to, For a purpose greater than myself Or anything that I call my own. The unfathomable love and pride you nurtured For the soil that we shared, Stirs my soul to rise to the occasion, And fight till the very end,  Even if it meant sacrificing myself. As you arrived home, after months of separation Wrapped in streaks of saffron and emerald, Our h...

The little specks of pearl in the sky Glowing and fuming, With the vapours of our memories.  In my swollen, glistening eyes, I saw the flare of your pyre in the stars, Like a spangle caught in my tears, The light of our love stretches its arms. I never knew a pain greater,  When my fingertips caressed your cold, grey folds of skin I never knew I could feel so broken inside, With scalding memories and a heart wanting justice. With last words untold, goodbyes unsaid. I never thought the day would come,  When I came home to your warm smile and open arms, But would instead be greeted by your empty chair. I never thought I would shudder and hide at your sight, Until you lay in the icy coffin like a child, Oblivious to our cries and wails. I never knew I would so badly yearn, To hear you call me one more time. I watched you become a child again. I never minded your faltering memory, Your greying eyes that often stared out in the open, I was content, With your pupils carrying a ...

The past couple of months have been a roller coaster ride. Several things had come tumbling down for me all at once - a nervous breakdown, the death of a very dear loved one, and now, testing positive for COVID-19.   How it has been   Day 1 was not by any means forgiving: I almost collapsed the moment I got out of bed, with fever, chills, severe dizziness and a flashing headache. The virus had caught me off guard and already begun wrecking my body. I remember feeling optimistic at first, that this was just exhaustion was taking a toll on me (for the previous week I had been working long hours) then slightly apprehensive as my brother tested positive the very next day.  I remember making a casual joke on testing positive right before taking my test. But then, two days later, I found myself going to bed with racing thoughts and mixed feelings - I had just received my results. That night was probably among the most anxious I've spent in my life. The first few days were the r...

The Illegal (2019) Cast : Suraj Sharma, Hannah Masi, Shweta Tripathi, Jay Ali, Iqbal Theba Director : Danish Renzu Synopsis : Hassan, a young filmmaker with a heart full of hope and dreams, chases the nectarine American dream, only to discover a different reality ahead. Rating : ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Gives even the numb watcher a lump in the throat" The Illegal is the riveting tale of Hassan, a Daryaganj boy chasing his immigrant dream of graduating as a filmmaker, determined to make his mark, but instead is left a broken man with crushed hopes. A tale bravely told by Renzu for sure.  The sheer talent and soul put into the film is evident from the impeccable screenplay and the raw emotion, which carries the film forward. If The Illegal isn't the best portrayal of an artiste's life - his complicated relationship with passion; the internal  conflict of choosing between listening to the brain and soul; the tremendous courage it takes to still march towards the path of your dreams, desp...

Phew!  It's been a year since the word 'lockdown' entered our lives, and yet the battle continues.  The lockdown may not have been awesome for many of us. For the majority, it may have looked like endless nights of Netflix and depressed days.  But thankfully, in my case, the lockdown gave me food for thought – I wanted to seize the empty hours and make something of it that I will be proud of. I had already spent a few depressed months right before lockdown, not having the time to try out all that I wanted to. All of a sudden, my packed daily routine took a leap and now, I had all the time in the world for myself. I embarked on a transforming journey of truth and learning, with my share of successes and blows.  I'm going to share with you some skills that I picked up during the lockdown. Feel free to add some to your list too! Photo by author 1. Calligraphy Calligraphy was more of an accidental skill I learnt. I had always liked watching videos of calligraphists, and ...

(Photo by Nong Vang on Unsplash ) It was a still, quiet night. The air seemed untouched by the maddening chaos in my mind. I glanced at the night sky, and spotted a star glimmering in the distance. The unusually gripping sight brushed me back to a fragment of my past, a chapter sealed long before. A whiff of my past my naive self still lived in. A life I had long left. I used to enjoy observing the tiny flickers of light, while my heart filled with hope for tomorrow. They looked like little flames whose glowing tips waltzed in the gentle evening wind. Those quiet, fulfilling moments spent squinting at tiny specks of light, while savouring the crisp air with traces of floral detergent from the clothesline, were one of a kind. Something no productivity chart would ever be able to explain. It was something I was not yet accustomed to; living a new life with new people, making new memories. Those little joys and fears that would excite my younger self. It's moments like these, moments...