Mothers' Day 2020 : A Special Glimpse

Mothers create and nurture us. They are our rivers of unconditional love we can always count on.
This Mothers' Day, I decided to take it a step further. My grandmother is the trove of love and wisdom for our family. I call her Ammamma, and you may have different names, but despite the name, every grandmother has the universal trait of unwavering love and distinct warmth our parents don't possess.

Mother to five daughters, my grandma is the pillar of support our family leans on. This Mother's Day, I am excited to feature my grandmother, the strongest and most loving mama I know. Let's look at a mother's heart from the inside, tracing her origin.


Walking down the memory lane..


MM: What is a dear childhood memory you still laugh at?

Actually, there are many. We were five siblings together. I had two older brothers and two younger ones. I was the only little girl and the pet of my brothers. Being the only daughter, I was pampered and I was never hit or yelled at by my parents, except one rare instance.
Once, I badly wanted a new dress and threw a tantrum, which is when I got my first and last beating. I was very upset and didn't talk to anyone at home for a couple of days. Eventually, it was my mother who made peace with me. I still laugh when I think of it.


MM :Who was your favourite person during childhood?

As a child, my mother and brothers were the only family I knew and loved. Of them all, I loved my eldest and youngest brother and my mother the most. My mother was my emotional confidante and my best friend. My brothers and I were closely-knit as children and shared a very special bond.


MM: What were your hobbies as a child?

I loved doing crochet and embroidery as a child. My elder brother would get me plain fabric and thread when I wanted, and he would sketch simple designs on the cloth for me. Now, I would sew along these lines and once I was done, my brothers would frame my work.
Sometimes, I would sew designs on pillow covers and loved spending time on embroidery.


MM : How did you meet Thatha? How did you feel at the thought of marriage?

We didn't meet on our own. Back in the early 70s, no girl would dare to have a say in her marriage. It was 1970, and I was about 19, just having finished school, and he was about 24.
On the first meeting, Thatha asked me to bring him a cold drink, but my mother refused to send me as she wasn't sure if this would be a match. *chuckles*
At the thought of marriage, I was just feeling scared. I didn't want to leave my family and live with a person I didn't know. I refused to marry and wanted to become a teacher. I had strong skill sets and could easily bag a lucrative job. But, I got married and along with it died my professional ambition.


MM : What was the first film you watched with Thatha?

The first film we watched together was Thaenum Paalum, right after marriage. It was a Sivaji Ganesan film.


Lovely firsts and favorites


MM : What is your favourite film and song?

There are many films that I love, and most of them are from the 60s and 70s. I think Aarilinruthu Arubathu Varai would be my favourite, as it felt closer home and reminded me of my own family.
I have many favourite songs, I can't name one.

MM : What is your favourite colour?

Baby pink and white are my favourite colours. Once, I wished for a white saree with light pink flowers on. My brother went in search of a saree that matched my description and eventually found one. It was soft and beautiful, and I have always cherished it.

MM : If you could pick one complete meal of your choice, what would it be?

For the main course, I would pick kaara kozhambu (a spicy Indian vegetable gravy), badusha (sweet fried pastry) for dessert and mango juice to drink. These are some of my favourites to eat. Though I am good at cooking non-vegetarian dishes, I don't really enjoy eating it as much. I prefer simple vegetarian food over heavy courses.

MM : What was your professional aim?

I have always wanted to become a teacher. I knew shorthand and many other skills that could complement my profession. But, I was married off before I could realise my dream. Though I couldn't become a teacher, my daughters chose teaching and I was able to live and fulfill my dream through my children.

MM : If you had to live with one of your five daughters for a year, who would it be? Why?

It is hard to live with either of them for a year, but given the question, I would pick Vasu. She is calm, responsible and organized.
But, I spent the most time with you, about six months, when you were an infant. Those were memorable days, watching you grow. (Ammamma was with me in the US from my birth till I turned six months old)


A little deeper..


MM : How would you describe your younger self and compare it with yourself now?

During my early years, I was a quiet, demure girl who would just cry in a corner if someone hurt me. I was weak and didn't know how to speak up for myself. Time following marriage, I was still scared, with none from my family with me. I often used to cry and feel lonely. Thatha was tired of watching me cry all day and longed for a conversation. At that point of time, I didn't know what to talk about. Now, I don't remember a day passing by without me talking.

MM : What was the most difficult decision you took in your life?

My marriage. In fact, it wasn't my decision. I refused to marry and wanted to go ahead with my career. Now, I don't regret it at all.

MM : What was the happiest moment of your life?

The birth of Indhu (my first daughter) was the happiest moment of my life. I did cherish that moment.

MM : What do you consider the greatest achievement of your life?

I feel that raising my five daughters to the strong women they are today is the greatest achievement of my life. There were several voices that wanted to humiliate and push my daughters down the ladder, to watch them fall. But, despite the barriers, we raised them with moral values, humanity and quality education, for which my daughters have made us proud.
Today, they are highly educated and respected individuals holding prestigious positions, leading happy lives. My daughters have reached great heights and honoured our parenting. I consider this the greatest achievement of my life.

MM : What is the most important thing in life? What would you like to pass on to your grandchildren, something you learnt the hard way?

Liberty and self-respect are the most important things in life.
I would advise against marriage. What you make of yourself before marriage and after, really depends on marriage as it decides whether it goes for the better or worse. It can crush your past accomplishments and future dreams. A bad marriage can put your life in for a toss and it can wound your liberty and self-respect. In a nutshell, either marry the right person or don't marry at all. Never give up your freedom and self-respect for anyone.

MM : Did you get what you wanted in life?

Yes and no. Life took away things I wanted but gave me something else. I am happy and contented with how things turned out, for each experience has shaped the person I am today. Marriage meant giving up my career. Sacrificing my career helped me raise my daughters in the best way possible. My ambitions of becoming a teacher was fulfilled by my daughters. Yes, I did eventually get what I wanted in life.

MM : If you had the chance to change something in your life, what would it be?

Time has let my life play the way it had to. It is too late to try to change anything and I can't either. I am happy with how my life played out. I would like to leave things as they are. It couldn't have been better.


I love you loads Ammamma. If not for you, I would not have such amazing mothers to guide me through my way. This is a tribute to every strong, resilient mama who endure so much for the sake of their children. Happy Mothers' Day.

#HappyMothersDay2020